I actually sent this email.

Please realize that the moment I push “send” I will be filled with remorse and regret. But I’m thinking that is better than being filled with
inertia. And since I have never been accused of cowardice, quite the contrary, I think I am revered for my insane bravery – by both genders
incidentally, here goes.

You could argue that sending an email is being hypocritical. Passive aggressive. And yes you would be correct. But this is in the top five scariest things I have ever done. So remember to be kind.

Let me start with an observation. Never deliver bad news, or what might be considered bad news - with a text message. What constitutes “bad news” you might ask? I’m not talking about sending a text message about your mother. I get that. But here is an example of bad news.

If you have sex with someone and don’t call them, and they make, what they think is a bold move, by asking what you are up to (and for the record you are aware that is a bold move for me, for I have shared that with you ) bad news is “I have a wedding commitment, you can catch me between the hours of” (and I grew weary trying to figure out what times were available. It seemed like about 30 seconds).

But we are not done. Because you then give, what I call, your trademark “twisting the knife” comment. “Thanks for thinking of me.”

How can you possible take that as a negative – you are saying? And I have resigned myself to the fact that in a million years I would never be able to convince you how patronizing that comment is. It’s impersonal. It dismisses me. Someone offers you Sixers tickets and if you can’t go – you say – "thanks for thinking of me". You don’t say it to a woman who, perhaps foolishly, has spent way too much time thinking about you. I don’t need thanks. I probably need therapy.

I wish you would have just picked up the phone when you had a moment. Or texted me and said, this weekend won’t work, but I will call you as soon as I get a chance. And then did just that.

But let’s face it. Text messaging is an amazing tool for the passive aggressive. If you feel compelled to take a shortcut.

But I don’t take shortcuts. Not professionally, and never with people I care about. The all too easy “convenience” of a shortcut is not lost on me.

And on the subject of convenience, I am reminded of the last scene in Sex in the City, with Baryshnikov. Ironically, you mentioned it recently. Carrie’s pain at another failed relationship was palpable. And I will never forget what she said, about wanting to be loved, an all-consuming, inconvenient love. The word “inconvenient” stood out and struck me as odd. I had never heard it put that way, but I will never forget it. The writers knew. They got it. Sometimes when you like someone you are inconvenienced. And what I have come to realize is, it is entirely possible you don’t like me enough to be inconvenienced.

Because that is what this is all about, after all. Being inconvenienced to figure out when or if you can work me into your schedule. Being inconvenienced to explain what you are up to, ahead of time. So that I can plan. So that my time is respected. And please don’t insult my intelligence with – why can’t we just date and have a good time when it works out. Because that ends up being, when it is convenient, for you. I’m not asking for a marriage proposal here. I am asking for respect. I am not asking for anything I haven't given you.

You have said a lot of things to me, and if I am to believe, at least half of them, I know you care about me. The question comes down to how much.